MRS HIGGINS [dismayed] Henry [scolding him]! What are you doing here to-day? It is my at home day: you promised not to come. [As he bends to kiss her, she takes his hat off, and presents it to him.]

HIGGINS Oh bother! [He throws the hat down on the table.]

MRS HIGGINS. Go home at once.

HIGGINS [kissing her] I know, mother. I came on purpose.

MRS HIGGINS But you mustn't. I'm serious, Henry. You offend all my friends: They stop coming whenever they meet you.

HIGGINS Nonsense! I know I have no small talk; but people don't mind. [He sits on the settee.]

MRS HIGGINS Oh! don't they? Small talk indeed! What about your large talk? Really, dear, you mustn't stay.

HIGGINS I must. I've a job for you. A phonetic job.

MRS HIGGINS No use, dear. I'm sorry; but I can't get round your vowels; and though I