JESSICA Why do you have to do this? Why...

JESSICA Why do you have to do this? Why, Todd?

TODD Do what?

JESSICA This. Make this a thing. You’re right, you work 65 hours a week. And he’s right - that means he and I spend, like, twenty hours alone in this apartment every week. And we’ve become friends. Good friends. But friends, Todd. And the one night in a month you get home early and this is what you want to do with it?

TODD Believe me, Jess, there are a million things I’d rather be doing right now.

JESSICA Then let’s.

A beat.

JESSICA I didn’t say “yes” because I didn’t want to get shipped back north. I said “yes” because I wanted to stay here with you. But at this point, I don’t know why we’re getting married anymore, Todd. I mean, I do, and I want to. But I can’t look forward to sixty years of this.

TODD Of what?

JESSICA Of sitting home in my pajamas playing video games. And watching movies. And playing parcheesi. And watching f##king girlie porn with your roommate. And yes, we do. Sometimes. And I look forward to it. Because I have nothing else in my life. I had you, and I don’t know where the f##k you are anymore.

TODD I’m working.

JESSICA And he doesn’t know where you are anymore.

TODD I’m working. You know where I work.

JESSICA I don’t mean I don’t know where you are. I mean I don’t know where you are, anymore. We’re young, Todd. I’m twenty-four. It’s 11:20 on a Friday night. I should be getting ready to go out to paint the town, you know. I should be out at a bar with my friends. I should be in that bedroom doing loud and terrible things with you because he’s out for the night. But I’m sitting here in my pajamas yelling “musou” and storming castles because I didn’t think I’d see you before two. And then you’d be too tired to do anything.

TODD I’m working.

JESSICA Anything, Todd. And you’ve left me and you’ve left him with nothing to do but each other. To hang out. And that’s what we do while you’re gone. We pass the time and we wonder out loud to each other when you’re going to get here.

(a beat)

I used to sit on the back of the couch and watch you guys play video games all night - and the three of us had a great time. Do you know it took us three weeks of me sitting on the back of this couch watching him play by himself before it occurred to either of us that I could pick up the other controller and play, too. And now we do. And we have a great time. And I miss you. And it has to stop.

TODD You think I want to go to the office all day then sit security for six hours every night?

JESSICA Then don’t.

TODD I don’t have a choice.

JESSICA Of course you have a choice.

TODD I really don’t.

JESSICA We all have a choice. Me. Gabe. We go to work all day, we come home and play video games.

TODD Well, that’s you.

JESSICA You could, too.

TODD I really can’t.

JESSICA And what I’m saying is, you’d better.

TODD I can’t. I have to pay for that f##king ring.

[pwnd] was developed with The CRY HAVOC Company

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