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Stan is waiting outside a hotel in London. His master, DJ, is
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Col WHERE IS HE?!
Stan I’m sorry?
Col Is he here? He must be here!
Stan Well he’s not!
Col senses a lie. His eyes wander to the jar of nuts...
Col Are they from a mini—bar? Did you stay here last night?
[... …]
Col You’re nothing but a fly on a horse’s shitey arse! I and my brother will be the tail that smites the fly. And the horse too!
Stan Oh, be gone — and take your terrible metaphors with you!
Col (exiting) I’m coming back!
Stan calls after him.
Stan I’ll deny everything! You’ve no proof!
Patrick Marber, Don Juan in Soho. Faber & Faber, 2017.
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